Deadlines and Timelines
Blessings or Curses?
12 years
When I was 18, I was told I’d be lucky to live 12 more years.
As you can imagine, it took me a while to process that news and a while longer to understand what I was supposed to do with that information.
For four years, it felt like I’d been handed a death sentence. But one day, my thinking shifted and I came to see it as a wake-up call.
The impending deadline did wonders for providing a powerful sense of focus and helping to clarify priorities!
The deadline approached.
The deadline arrived.
The deadline passed.
People would say to me: “You must be so happy? You’re out of the woods now.” But I never saw it that way. The lesson of the wake-up call wasn’t about the deadline. It was about the focus and clarity that the deadline provided. For a while, I made it my mission to share that message.
But now, I find myself in a different predicament.
It’s been 24 years since the deadline passed. And if I’m being completely honest with myself - a lot of the focus and clarity have faded over those years.
As they first started to fade, I began to move out of what I’d come to think of as the world of the Mortals and into the world of the Immortals. I began to forget the lessons I’d learned and the gifts I’d been given by my situation.
Lately, I’ve been finding myself grappling with a new, unfamiliar feeling. A combination of uncertainty and unease. I’ve just recently realized what’s been causing this.
For 12 years, I was watching a deadline approach. Then for twice as long - for 24 years - I’ve been watching that deadline get smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror. Now, as I start to look forward - I realize how unsettling it is to live in the uncertainty of a life without a defined timeline.
So I’m assigning myself a new deadline… 10 years.
10 years
When I was speaking and running workshops on Mortality, one of the exercises that had the biggest impact was when I asked people to write their own obituaries.
I’d have them start with their obituary assuming they’d lived to the age of 100. I asked them to list their imagined accomplishments and what they were most proud of. I asked them to think about who was most important to them.
Then I’d have them re-write the obituary for shorter and shorter time frames. For shorter and shorter lifespans.
It often had a profound effect and helped provide that focus and clarity, especially when we got down to the 10-year timeframe.
You can accomplish a lot in ten years but since you don’t have all the time in the world, you need to be intentional about it. The shiny and flashy goals tend to fall away very quickly and the thing that really matter start to come into sharp focus.
Think for a second… What do YOU want to be able to list as your accomplishments in 2034? What will you be most proud of? Who will be most important to you in ten years?
That’s my new mental deadline - 2034.
It feels good to have a timeline to work with (even an imaginary one) and I can already feel the focus and clarity starting to come back.
🥰