Recently, I was checking in with an old friend who asked me about my alignment.Ā The gist of the question was: āhow closely am I living in alignment with my values?āĀ After our conversation, I pulled out some old journals and looked back at places where Iād written out my values.Ā I was curious to see how they may have evolved over the years.Ā As I looked back through notes dating back 30 years, I had a jarring realization.Ā What I was calling āvaluesā ā¦ werenāt always values.
{deep breath} Let me explain by coming clean.Ā On every single list Iāve ever made, Iāve listed some variation of āhealthy livingā or āfitnessā as one of my top values. But the reality is, I was very seldom in alignment with the value of being fit and living a healthy life.Ā The jarring realization was that I was using āvaluesā and āaspirationsā interchangeably.
Values vs aspirations
When I was in my 20ās, I lived a lifestyle that kept me in decent shape.Ā Living in Montreal, I was very active. I walked almost everywhere. I worked on the side of Mount Royal, which meant that I got daily exercise just going to work. I regularly went to the gym because it was on my way home from work. And I did my best to eat well. Ā
Fast forward to my early 30ās - I was living in a city that required a car and working a sales job that had me driving all over the city in stressful traffic.Ā I would leave home early and get home late. I did get a gym membership right after I moved, but found myself too exhausted at the end of the day to go. Plus, it wasnāt simply āon my way homeā so it was a hassle.Ā And yetā¦ my journal entries from that time period still listed health and fitness as one of my values. It had switched from being a āvalueā to being an āaspirationā. Ā
I was making a total aspiration of myself.Ā
The realization I made is that if Iām not actually investing time into something, itās not something I truly value.Ā As a Mortal, time is the most valuable commodity I have.
If Iām not actually investing time into something, itās not something I truly value.
The reverse is also true, and just as jarring - spending time on things demonstrates that I do, in fact, value them. Even if I donāt actually like them. Ā
Oh, and itās not just how much time I spend on something - itās also how much mental energy I spend on it. That also demonstrates how much I value something.
{Whew!} Now that Iāve confessed this to you, Iām going to write out two lists: a list of values AND a list of aspirations. My work will be to make the necessary shifts in my time and energy to move items from the aspiration list over to the values list.
If youāll excuse me, Iām going for a walk now!
Oh Patrick I hear you loud and clear. I too have become an aspiration. Every time.
.I repeat..Every time I journal or make bucket lists for self care and personal improvement it becomes clear that I have obtained little care and improvement for myself. The major feeling of reward and alignment I experience is through my work as an End of Life Doula. The alignment I feel here is unsurmountable. And once again I work toward self alignment and improvement. Don't hold your breath you have a weak heart you know. š