Peace and ping pong
I recently wrote a post called Now What? where I talked about dealing with the unknown.
For most of us, the “…now what?” moments have just kept on coming - with no sign of slowing down. For some people, this isn’t something new. Life can often seem like a never ending stream of “now what?” moments.
Everything is important.
Everything is a crisis.
Everything demands our attention.
In ye olde times, you could simply put down the newspaper or opt not to watch the nightly news. But now that we’re connected 24/7 to a series of algorithms geared to keep us engaged by pushing us into into states of fear and/or rage, it’s a real challenge to find personal peace. Instead, we end up getting drawn into draining scenarios like this:
Panic ping pong
Chaos happens, and it’s like a ping pong ball heading towards you. You react by grabbing a paddle and hitting the ball back over the net. But then something else happens - you react. Another shot - you react. You get addicted to returning every shot, even though there's no way to win because you're not playing a person, you're playing against a machine that endlessly launches ping pong balls.
Trauma tic tac toe
They hit you with an X. You return with an O.
They go, you go, they go, you go and no one ever wins and it never ends.
And of course there’s…
The Bullshit Boomerang
Some bullshit lands at your feet (or in your newsfeed). You pick it up and say: "I don't need this bullshit in my life" and hurl it as hard as you can. But it’s a boomerang. You don't have to be Australian to know what happens next.
The only way to find peace, is to not play the game.
The only way out, is to not play the game.
That advice might seem shocking. You might be saying: “But Patrick, these things are important!! We're living in unprecedented times!! I can’t just not react!”
I agree these are unprecedented times. I agree that these things are important. But take a moment and think about this question:
“Does my reaction do anything to change the situation?”
Reaction doesn’t change anything. Only action does. So ask yourself if there’s some action you can take with regard to the situation. If there is - excellent - spring into action.
But if there isn’t any action that’s available to you, my suggestion is to go ahead and feel your reaction (be afraid, sad, angry, etc) and then do your best to find some peace.
Don’t pick up the ping pong paddle.
Back away from the boomerang.
Instead, turn the exasperated, outwardly focused "now what?" into an introspective, "now what?" A reflective question that prompts you for a thoughtful and deliberate choice about where to turn your focus and energy.
Next time, I’ll write more about finding that peace.
Hang in there!
PS: For anyone who needs to hear this - choosing not to engage in something you can't control does NOT mean you're endorsing it or accepting it. You're just refusing to be controlled and consumed by it.